Every time I allowed a man into my vulnerable space, I got hurt. Over the years, this made me not trust any man. In my eyes, they were just after what they could get from me. Every time I allowed myself to be my real authentic self, I would be taken for granted. One would think that would stop me from running after them, but no. It was almost as if that made me more determined to show them my worth. Until I met Jesus, the One who has my heart and the One who, time and time again, has never shunned me, never turned me away instead always embraced me.

Men, even the best of friends, tend to see what they can get out of you.  I am so weary of men these days, to the point where I don’t want them near me. If God has not ordained him to be a part of my life, then he needs to stay far away from me.

Past hurts and damage caused by broken men I had allowed to be part of me have given me this resounding NO in my spirit. Overcompensating is a real thing and it turns out to be an eye opener when you take a step back.

A good friend of mine told me today, “don’t prove your worth to anyone, if they want you, let them pursue you”. The mistake I made because of my starvation in my marriage is, I went all in and again I disappointed myself. We love out of the love we give ourselves first, and when we don’t love ourselves, we are incapable of loving others. That’s just a fact.

Desperation will cause you to do things you never thought you would for the sake of pleasing your flesh… In the end, you are the one who has to pick up the pieces of your brokenness.  No-one is there to hold you and reassure you.

Be careful what and who you entertain because what you allow will continue unless you put an end to it.

Darling woman, you deserve to be loved, you deserve to be valued, you deserve to be made to feel special, you deserve to be a priority, you deserve to be cared for, supported, prayed for and washed with the Word. Don’t settle because someone is incapable of giving you what you deserve.

Shake off the dust from your feet, close the door and move on. What is for you is for you and what is not, is not. Don’t give up on love because someone does not know how to love.

Love does not hurt, men who do not know how to love, hurt us…Hurt people hurt people.

All my love, 

Zen