Written by Guest Contributor

Motivation by Zen

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25 Oct, 2021

I have been carrying this word the whole week, by carrying I mean it has been popping up in my mind the whole week. So I believe I need to release it…

For the longest time I have experienced disappointment and I remember a time when disappointment occurred I would immediately ask myself “what is wrong with me”? What did I do? I would internalise what someone else did. 

Lately let’s say for the last 7 years on my journey of authenticity and being real I learned to separate the behaviour from the person. I will be honest: I am a very critical person and this stems from having had a relationship with someone for 20 years and the majority of the time I was criticised, so the remnant of that remained in me being overly critical of others. 

Since I became aware of this trait of mine I have learned to bestow much grace to others. But you know it still has not removed the effect of disappointment when it occurs and what has helped me navigate through disappointment is to acknowledge how that person’s behaviour made me feel, share it with that person and move forward. 

We set the standard of our lives and if we want better relationships we must learn to articulate how we feel, not in a toxic way making the person feel bad about themselves, but in a loving manner so that the other person will know in future what your boundaries are and how to behave where you are concerned. 

We must get rid of the toxicity that makes us want to hurt others with our words because we are hurt. Resolve today that next time someone disappoints you, you seek to understand and speak your truth in love so that your latter can be better. 

All my love 

Zen 

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