There is an old saying that goes;
“Hope differed makes the heart sick.”
And oh has my heart been broken along the way.
There is nothing more painful then seeing your dream come to live before you and then just as you are about to attain it, it crumbles and dies. Growing up I had a dream to create spaces for women to have heart to heart conversations that would inspired change and break societal taboos.
Running towards this dream I fell many times along the way; deals not falling through, events being cancelled, having to fund everything myself and realizing I can’t and feeling like I could not attain that dream.
There were times I wondered whether I should give up or continue persevering. What I learnt is this: If it hurts you more to let it go then the rejections, then keep going. Its not the how and the when that matters but the why that keeps the flame ablaze.
When you understand who you are and why you desire to do the things you want to do, you will begin to see that it doesn’t matter how many times you fail, it doesn’t matter how many no’s you get along the way.
Because each failure is an opportunity to do better next time, starting from experience and not from scratch.
Each no is not the end of the road but re direction to something greater.
Now don’t get me wrong it hurts all the same even knowing all this, and that’s ok.
Allow yourself to feel what it is that you are feeling, don’t suppress it by telling yourself it’s going to be ok… (it will be ok in the long run ) However acknowledge the emotions you are feeling then.
Is it anger?
Is it frustration?
Is it overwhelm?
Is it fear?
Say it out loud and free yourself of the assumption that you are not allowed to experience such emotions.
All emotions are healthy emotions, acknowledge them allows you to transform from that situation.
So how do you go about keeping positive when the road gets tough and the tough gets going ?
- Before you begin write down your vision and write down why you want to do that specifically. Your why should be bold and clearly defined.
- Write down your life purpose, what is it that you were innately called to do? What is that incline that doesn’t seem to shake off?
- Understand that failure is part of the process so start with what you have, fail fast and learn from it.
- When you are tired rest, don’t give up. Incorporate rest into your hustle. Allow yourself breathing space to switch off and re-calibrate.
- Surround yourself with people that genuinely want to see you win, your tribe determines your vibe. It can be one person… someone who understands and is able to remind you of your why.
- Celebrate all the victories along the way, even the tiniest ones. Write them down and dance.
The pathway to success is: hard work, plus perseverance sprinkled with discipline and consistency.
Keep going, it might not always be easy, there may be times where it looks like everyone is attaining their dreams and it’s just you struggling to get along.
Remember everyone and I mean everyone has their own challenges, so never compare your chapter 4 with someone’s chapter 500. Learn to celebrate other people’s wins, see it as verification that indeed it is possible.
One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. One goal accomplished, one step closer … keep on keeping on, success is on the other side of hard work.