Before you begin reading, I need to be completely honest with you… I am an open book when it comes to life, I’ll tell you anything you want to know, but talking about my journey has been one of the most difficult things that I’ve had to do. This is a part of my life that I’ve been afraid to share because I did not want people to look at me differently or worst of all feel sorry for me, but I realised that this was my mountain and it is my responsibility to make it move, I want to show people they have it in them move their mountains.
I’ll never forget the December Holiday’s we spent camping at Long Beach between Swakopmund and Walvis Bay. There was one in particular holiday that is imprinted in my soul, I was 7 years old at the time and I begged my parents that entire year for a cellphone, when I say begged I mean that I drove them bonkers. My parents has several businesses whilst my brother and I grew up and they saw this as a golden opportunity. My dad took us to a safety shop in Walvis Bay where he saw sunglasses, he presented us with an opportunity, we (my brother and I) could sell them and use the profit to purchase whatever we wanted and we were all in. My dad purchased the first batch, which we had to pay back, he also divided the campsite so my brother (he’s five years older than me) and I would not steal clients from each other. At the end of the holiday I was able to purchase a Nokia 1100 for N$1000 and my brother purchased a home theatre sound system. Ever since that 7 year old girl proved to herself that anything is possible, that her dreams are valid business became a part of my DNA.
At the age of 15 I experienced a traumatic event which I had no idea how to deal with. I was spending hundreds of hours working on my favourite subject, Art. I came to the conclusion that if I don’t sleep, I wouldn’t need to think about the traumatic event so I drank Redbull and ate Barocca and I worked like this for weeks if not months. Due to my low immunity my body became receptive to viruses and I became terribly ill. Dr’s had no idea what it was, they were only able to treat my symptoms which looked a lot like burn out. I suffered from depression, I stopped speaking, I lost most of my memory and I couldn’t lift my arms above my shoulders. Afters months of Dr appointments we went to a Homeopath, I was taken out of school for three months and I had to take 52 pills a day. My parents spent N$8000 to N$12000 per month out of pocket because the medical aid did not cover natural supplements. Needless to say our faith worked overtime. I recovered well and was able to continue to grade 10 the following year.
Fast Forward to the year 2017, I had just turned twenty-one, I became the Sole Distributor for Make-Up Designory in Namibia. I did make-up for events, I distributed the products to different outlets, I did training and I worked as much and as hard as I could to establish MUD in Namibia. I loved equipping women with the right products and tools to look and feel their best. My eyes would well-up with tears seeing my clients faces and them realising just how beautiful they are, those moments kept me going.
At age twenty-three I experienced a Reproductive Attack – yes, that’s what it felt like but no those terms aren’t written in medical journals. I have always battled with my hormones; heavy periods and severe pain but it was getting worse so I went to a couple of specialists. My first appointment with a Gynaecologists I was told that I have Endometriosis and that I need a laparoscopy as soon as possible, she also explained that my only option woud be to get a Mirena. At that time I was very happy in my relationship with my now husband and I sat him down, explaining that children might not ever be an option, it felt like the end of the world to me. I could not stop crying. My next appointment she said it looked more like Adenomyosis and that I could be over fertile. I was in shock! My boyfriend was not even allowed to sit too close to me because what on earth does over fertile even mean? I got the Laparoscopy and Mirena…I had 4 cysts burst in the three to four months after my operation and I could feel the Mirena, what I can only describe as scratching me, while I walked. Needless to say I went to another Gynie to have it removed. In two years I was placed on eight different contraceptions at age twenty-four I was placed on Estrogen. I later went to a Dr that specialised in Menopause because I was having the same symptoms as my mother. She told me to immediately get off all the hormonal treatments that I was on and so I did.
Somewhere in-between all of that I got married. We tied the knot 10 January 2020 in Cape Town, needless to say we got to know one another a lot better and quicker than we anticipated thanks to COVID. As soon as we got back from our honeymoon we adopted a rescue dog and when I say we.. I really mean me… I persuaded my husband, he had no choice. Our rescue was a nine months old Pitbull and he showed signs of neglect, his manners drove us crazy and it resulted in a few strong disagreement, I was sure we were going to get a divorce. A lot of things happened within months, my dad had a heart attack and had to get a bypass, my brother contracted COVID-19 and had to stay with my parents. His drip was hung from the ceiling fan and he was constantly on oxygen. These are all things that make you stop, sit and look at your life and that was something I did not do in a very long time. I realized that I made a few poor decisions; I spent hours working instead of placing my family or myself first, I collaborated and associated with businesses that did not align with my values and I was unhappy. I took a moment, freaked out and I made the decision to end all relationships and agreements that did not align with my values.
As a result of this I also lost things that were very important to me, that I worked hard for and that I loved dearly. I had to re-invent myself and that was really scary, I felt lost for a very long time but I also felt like this mountain had been lifted from my shoulders..
Part 2 of my story will be published soon.