Take some time to do your own reflection. Validate your own past and present and regulate through those emotions.
So far, I’ve managed to survive all of my worst days. There have been countless moments in my life where I’ve felt completely worn out, defeated, and hopeless. I’ve questioned my ability to handle both physical and emotional pain. It’s during these times that my mind and body really put my strength and willpower to the test. I would wonder, “How much more can I take?” And it seemed like my mind and body took that question as a challenge.
Now, I won’t lie, recalling those painful and suppressed memories of the darkest parts of my life is tough. But I’m grateful for the opportunity to reflect on them. Because through reflection, I’ve come to realize that I’ve overcome all of my worst days. I’ve survived everything I thought I couldn’t. Every time I fought for my life and doubted my own strength, my strength never let me down. I’ve conquered countless sleepless nights filled with pain, anxiety, and the deepest depression I’ve ever experienced. My worst days and most terrible experiences have shown me that I can get through anything life throws at me.
Sure, my body may be exhausted and tired of just “hanging in there,” something I still feel on a regular basis. But my mind refuses to quit or give up on me. It’s a source of both mental and emotional pain, but it’s also where I find my strength and determination on my darkest days. My mind reminds me of those times when I questioned how much more I could handle. It pushes me to remember the times when I chose to keep moving forward, even when it felt impossible. And it reminds me of my unwavering faith that surpasses all understanding. It reminds me that my God is awesome, capable of moving mountains, and will provide me with the strength to overcome anything.
When I look at myself today and compare the young boy in the pictures to the young man I see now, I feel an immense sense of pride.
Despite not being at my physical best and needing medication to manage my anxiety, these factors won’t deter me from my plan and purpose. I’m determined to keep moving forward, no matter what obstacles come my way. And I’ll continue to write about my journey because sharing my experiences can not only help me heal, but also inspire others who may be going through similar struggles.
xo Johnathan
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