Ever gotten to that point of self-destruction, you are tired of living up to people’s expectations, and you just want to forget about what you must do, which deadline to meet, which thing to hand in you just want to BE! Ever felt like that or is it just me?
I remember a time in my life when life threw so many curve balls at me and I would automatically go on a path of self-destruction man I didn’t even care what happened to me, I just wanted to forget the current struggle and challenge and be accessible even if it was just for a moment, free I was just for a moment but the guilt after that and the aftermath of having to now own up to the behaviour, yoh it was not worth the fun that was had.
Cycles happen and we can either remain in them or we can decide to push through and no matter what, or no matter the discomfort we can choose to pick up the pieces once more and restart. Pick up the pieces and continue building, because going back to familiar places, spaces and people is not going to give you the life you want to build… in the process of growth you will get the enticing prospect of staying in comfort and familiarity but what if? What if you just choose to work through the discomfort, allow the breaking down, allow the destruction to happen so that new routines and habits can be forged, where you are so proud of yourself for not just realising you are better than that but that you are a victor and you are a conqueror for whatever life throws at you, you will conquer!
Let me tell you, when you surround yourself with the right people, they will start to show up in ways you never thought possible and they will root for you to keep pushing and not give up.
I am blessed to not just have a tribe of people but a community of people who have entered my life to help me navigate through my new life as a single mom and woman and as scary as it has been to allow people in after all the hurt over the years, I am learning to unlearn a lot of behaviours that often kept people out…
When you do self-destruct know that your people will come alongside you and they will sit with you, they will even have hard conversations with you and they will help you to continue moving forward.
Be gentle with yourself, cry buckets. Love yourself and allow yourself space to process through the emotions. Acknowledge what you are feeling, and release it. Know this, it doesn’t matter how many times you fall, as long as you choose to get back up!!
All my love,
Zen
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