I am a firm believer that we teach others how to treat us…

Let me explain.  In a relationship, there are two people who should essentially be equally invested in the relationship and making it work. However, more often than not, there is the one who overcompensates.

What this does is make the other partner lazy. They stop pursuing you, they become too familiar with you, they don’t do the things they did at first when they were courting you, in my day we called it ‘speen’.

All the effort made while courting disappeared and females become content with the bare minimum they are given. So I beg to ask the question, what have you and I allowed to get to a place of mediocrity and having no sense of expectation of our partners? Surely, if we put in effort, then the other person must be held accountable to do the same. Too often relationships become bland because we have just accepted less than what we deserve. Perhaps it’s time to re-examine the state of our relationships and start making changes to make things better.

What it will cost is a very candid conversation with yours truly and to start ironing out the creases. If your partner gets defensive instead of taking responsibility for his/her part in the current state of your relationship then you have to make a bigger decision. Familiarity breeds contempt…at some point we gave permission that we don’t need to be pursued and so we have taught our partners it is okay to give us the bare minimum, even though our hearts desire something else and usually much more.

You owe it to yourself to have the best relationship under the sun. However, it will take both parties to be equally invested to have that great relationship.

All my love

Zen